Can’t Have the Yin Without the Yang: Barry Rosenbaum

Barry Rosenbaum was born in a small town near Houston. He was a philosophy major, but his later-to-be wife (whom he met on the first day of college) convinced him to pursue a slightly more lucrative career, so they both went to California to study law at UCLA and then became government attorneys. Barry was the senior land use attorney for the City of Santa Monica for more than thirty years, and since his retirement, among other activities, volunteers for a grassroots political organization, perfects his bass in the solitude of his bedroom, and writes about the current political crisis.

What advice would you give your younger self?

Don’t lose touch with the wonder of the natural world. Revel in its mysteries. Don’t be so mission-driven that you don’t take the time to pause and watch the butterfly flutter, listen to the birds sing, and smell the fragrance of a newborn rose.

Work is necessary, and the goal should be to find work that is meaningful, but for most of us, it will remain a means to an end, not an end in itself. Don’t let it consume you. Too much life will go by while you toil.

Don’t treat advice as the gospel. We all are unique beings, and no one else can know how your path should unfold. You have your own integrity. But don’t be so stubborn that you cannot hear the wisdom that others might impart. Those older folks may have gleaned a modicum of wisdom from the paths that they pursued. As with everything, life is a balance.

You cannot have the yin without the yang. Life will present its ups and downs. Know that when you are in a trough, it shall pass. So too will the rainbow. Fortunately, in the end, you will have more blessing than curse.

We are all vastly more similar than we appear.

Breathe—take long, deep breaths to calm and balance yourself.

There will always be opportunities that, in hindsight, you wish you might have taken, but opportunities remain ever-present. Let go of your fear, let go of what might have been, and latch on to the now opening wide before you. The opportunity to grow is never lost.

What wisdom would you share with a younger person about aging?

It is so hard to appreciate that your body will not always be as dependable and resilient as it is during your younger years. So be as active as you can while you are able—even be adventurous—but, at the same time, putting your body through extreme challenges can cause real difficulties later in life. While the body is remarkably adaptable, it is not without its limits, so don’t be abusive. Ultimately, only you can know where that line is.

As you enter your later years, younger folks will not see you as you see yourself. They see a slow-moving and forgetful person with a less-than-appealing body. Know that we all follow this course of life, it’s just part of the bargain, and the elderly, too, had lives full of vigor, dreams, and romance. Hopefully, these haven’t faded for them, even as the body loses a step or two or three.

It is sometimes only through a life lived that you can begin to understand what it means to live a full life.

What does the next chapter of your life look like?

I’m trying to follow my own advice and not be too rigid about my future course. I foresee lots of travel and political activism. I want to play whatever role I can, however small, in helping to fix our world that is so very broken. I also want to slow down and appreciate the beauty of nature that is all around in a way I have often failed to do before. I want to approach the world not with expectations or demands, but with gentle appreciation.

I hope to lead a full, active life until my last breath, which god-wiling is still two or three decades away. My pace will change, and my stamina will be reduced, but it is my intention to remain an active participant in the flow of life.