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December Musing from Rebecca Crichton: Polarized

I’m declaring Polarized the Word of the Year. We don’t need to look far to see how it plays out in our world. We are in the most heightened state of Us vs. Them and Either-Or many of us can ever remember. It doesn’t even matter which topic or issue it is about. Black and White. Right and Wrong. Duality is the only way things get presented or explained.

When I facilitated leadership development at Boeing, we taught the Polarity Model, created by Barry Johnson in his book, Polarity Management, Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems. Two major takeaways remain with me:

  1. Polarities can’t be solved, they have to managed. The poles themselves are neutral (such as Personal and Collective, Freedom and Control), yet our attachment to one side represents our belief system. Clinging to one end of a polarity will eventually devolve into its downside.
  2. The more articulate we are about why our side is the right side, the more pushback and resistance we receive from those on the other side.
 
We don’t want to see the downside of our position and that people on the other side fear the downside of what we represent. We also fear the downsides of the other pole.
 
To manage a polarity, we need to recognize there are positive and negative aspects to both ends. Our task is to blend the positive aspects of both sides in order to achieve the greater good.
 
A polarity that applies to aging is the one with Independence on one side and Dependence on the other. Interdependence allows us to balance both sides. I often write about how we all need to recognize the value of asking for help as well as offering help. It is a constantly changing process; understanding it allows us more options, more opportunities to find the ways we stay balanced and at choice. 
 
My essay, Rethinking Control, reframes my attitude toward rules and regulations in the context of aging and our current world. I remind myself to look for the upsides of the many polarities in my life. 
 
I want to thank my valued colleague, Ruth Neuwald Falcon, for our ongoing collaboration. We are a great team! Also, deep thanks to Judy Pigott who has supported NWCCA for many years. Her help allows us to thrive and continue our mission.
 
Wishing you all a holiday season and passage into the New Year with joy, connection and hope.
Rebecca

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NWCCA’s Collaboration with Town Hall

The Medhi Reading Room, Town Hall Seattle
1119 8th Avenue, Seattle

Here’s to the Future!
An Intergenerational Conversation about Aging with
Erika Crichton and Rebecca Crichton

Monday, January 13, 7:30 PM

Mother and daughter Rebecca and Erika Crichton discuss how Gen X and Boomer-aged people can learn more about one another by openly sharing perspectives on the joys and challenges of aging well in our modern world.

 

Music for the Ages — Learning & Playing at Any Stage of Life
Chas Arnold with Debra Revere

Monday, February 10, 7:30 PM

 Join Chas Arnold, Executive Director of the Music Center of the Northwest, and Debra Revere, a passionate cello learner, as they share their experiences and insights on picking up an instrument as an adult. Discover the joys and challenges of learning music later in life, connect with local amateur musicians, and enjoy live performances from adult students of MCNW.Mondau 

Food and Finality
Discussions facilitated by Rebecca Crichton around death and dying, grief and loss, discussions that honor and acknowledge the discomfort, judgments, confusion and other emotions that these topics can engender.
Rebecca creates and holds the space with the intention that everybody is included and feels safe.
Click here to learn more