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Women often change their last names when they marry. That custom waxes and wanes according to dominant cultural norms. I remember when women wanted to be called Mrs. So-and-So. The option of putting Ms. in front of our own names was one of the resets that came out of the 1970s wave of Feminism.

My given name was Frances Joan, but I was never called Frances, only Joan or variations of it. When I turned 30, I changed my name to Rebecca Joan. Forty years later, I had to reinstate Frances so that my license and other official documents matched my passport.

Taking Rebecca as my first name turned out to have a meaning that I didn’t know at the time. What I did know was that I felt connected to the biblical character of Rebecca. She initially shows up at a well where she offers water to Isaac and his camels, thereby proving herself worthy of becoming Isaac’s wife.

The concept of the Well as resource appealed to me, even though I wasn’t aware of how appropriate the metaphor would become over time. Now, at this stage in my life, I can see that I have grown into my role as a resource for others.

What characteristics and names would you choose for yourself now? Is this a good time to rename yourself, or is it time to fully embrace your identity?

This month’s What We Learned feature from Griggs Irving, a retired educator and entrepreneur whose passion is helping others learn, fits perfectly with this exploration of personal identity and family of origin. 

We hope you can join us at Town Hall on Monday, February 9, for It Takes a Village: Aging in Place, my conversation with representatives from Seattle-based villages will share the history and benefits of our local villages.