Patience, Love, & Kindness: Keri Pollock

Keri Pollock grew up in America’s Dairyland, Wisconsin, and has called the PNW home since 2000. She has worked in the field of aging for over 30 years, the past ten as Director of Marketing and Communications at Aging Wisdom, a care management and creative engagement practice in Seattle.

What advice would you give your younger self?

“You can’t fix other people.” When someone is struggling, you want to take their pain away. You see the potential in others and want to change them. Or you think you know what’s best for another person and pepper them with advice.

So… the advice I wish I’d heard when I was younger (others shared this, but I wasn’t listening): Everyone has their own path to discovery or change (or not).

One exception could be if someone is a danger to themselves or others. Intervention can help. Example: I am an alcoholic. A concerned friend, who was sober, lovingly confronted me about my drinking. She was caring and kind. I trusted her. She concluded her concerns by inviting me, when I was ready, to an A.A. meeting. A seed was planted. A week later, I circled back and asked her to take me to a meeting. The rest, as they say, is history. I celebrated 40 years of sobriety last November! My friend didn’t try to fix me, but her patience paid off, and so did her kindness.

What wisdom would you share with a younger person about aging and what it means?

Be patient with yourself and others.

I was on an adventure with our 17-year-old granddaughter recently; we covered over 5 miles, enjoying Pioneer Square, Waterfront Park, and the Market. The walk was glorious, with many stairs and steep inclines. I asked Audrey to pause more frequently than I’d anticipated, but we both accepted the rest as opportunities to chat, laugh, people watch, refresh, and breathe.

Pausing and being patient with myself happens a lot more now that I’m older. And it’s not just physically. I have similar needs to pause when I’m learning how to work with new technology, such as my smartphone or the security system in our townhouse. And with time, I’m more selective about what I say Yes to.

It happens in reverse as well. Last winter, I taught Audrey how to sew, which included the full process: picking a pattern, selecting fabric and notions, cutting out the pattern, sewing, and final touches. It was a lot to take in, even for a smart, motivated young person. It took a lot of patience on her part. We paused and practiced a lot of patience that day.

Patience is an act of self-care. This applies no matter your age.

What is important to you looking ahead?

David Byrne of the Talking Heads recently said: “Love and kindness are the most punk things you can do right now.”

Love and kindness, always.

Though I still work full-time, I organized my work schedule so I can prepare home-cooked meals twice a month for a nonprofit in the U-District that supports young people experiencing homelessness. I also bake regularly for programs at the Greenwood Senior Center.

I’m channeling my Grandma Hulda, who was always cooking, baking, and making the world a more loving, welcoming, comforting, and kind place. Food is my love language, just as it was my grandma’s.

I’m encouraged by Desmond Tutu: “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” I’ll just keep doing that, and…Tuck a little extra into the barista’s tip jar. Always smile. Let the car merge into my lane. Make homemade soup and cookies for my neighbor recovering from surgery. Buy flowers and leave them at a friend’s house with a note inside. Let management at a business I frequent know how much I appreciate their staff and tell the staff, too (and give a great Google review). Say “I love you!” more often to friends and family!