Save Time with Better Questions: Don Goldberg

Don Goldberg sees the world through progressive lenses with a focus on the absurd. He has created nationally syndicated radio programs from rock history to political satire. He currently works supporting Braver Angels’ podcast “A Braver Way.”

“When I was younger, I was told to respect my elders. And now, I don’t have to respect anybody!” — George Burns

What advice would you give to your younger self?

I didn’t respect all my elders when I was in my teens and twenties. Raised on Mad Magazine, Tom Lehrer, and the 60s counterculture, I developed a highly tuned (if not naively myopic) BS radar that served me well as a “youth expert,” pioneering FM rock radio and creative advertising.

I never regretted questioning authority, but if I’d known better questions to ask, I could have saved time. So, younger self:

• Continue to take chances, make great mistakes, but make new wonderful mistakes and don’t repeat the ones the old farts made.
• Court failure. Hit some walls, then think ahead. Why struggle over or go around it when you could see through it and dream beyond it?
• At any stage, keep playing curiously. Become a visionary, but not a “tunnel visionary.” Consider that your very valid point of view isn’t the one and only true vision.
• Keep your eyes and your heart open. Vulnerability is a strength. Avoid cliques. Grow out while you’re growing up.

What wisdom would you share with a younger person about aging and what it means?

I live by a lake with a three-mile path around it. Do you really have to jog? In a short period of time, you’ll end up right where you started. In a longer period of time, your knees and hips won’t. Exercise the part from the neck up with the same gusto. The future belongs to the flexible.

Your “hipness” and trendiness will fade in your 40s. Your workplace relevance by your 60s. But gather your experiences fully. To everything there is a season. If you’re going to be so full of yourself, make it your true self.

• Recognize the shelf life of your ideas and look beyond their expiration date. Your parents may not know much, but your grandparents do. Not all wisdom comes with age, but the stuff that remains carries a greater truth.
• Cherish real friendships. Connect with the folks who really “get” you. Even when they disagree, at least you know you’re heard and appreciated. Cultivate community. You never want to age alone. Appreciate curmudgeons but avoid the assholes. Establish relationships with good doctors (your age or younger).
• Broaden your interests. Keep learning. The career you trained for will be obsolete or significantly changed from the time you started. Respect technology and inventive out-of-the-box thinking, but don’t worship it. Real wisdom and basic skills will always serve you well.
• Develop a good “forgettery.” It’s the supreme secret of aging. It’s not about losing one’s memory; it’s about selectively forgetting the baggage that comes from resentment and regret. And even when approaching death, it’s best to remember that angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.

What is important to you looking ahead?

Put everything in loving perspective. Choose forgiveness, and leave the rest behind. Practice creative mental downsizing. Not putting your house in order by reducing the number of rooms. Instead, make room to appreciate growth for more spaciousness than space.

Keep traditions that serve well and trash those that are enslaving. Wisdom in retirement offers the possibility for new traditions that give structure to the time in your life where every day can be another Saturday.

Be interested and interesting. Travel. Visit museums (the Muse is always available), plays, discussions. Cook, read, and create in any medium that enhances your life.

Contemplate mystery. Don’t get hung up on mastery. Play games. Do puzzles. You don’t have to complete them. You have permission to say “F… it. Good enough.”

Avoid looking for trouble. It can be addictive and infectious. When you find it, you’ll want to share it. If you’re going to be infectious, look for the good and praise it. Share your blessings. Find younger folks and learn from them. Make wisdom a two-way street.

And pay close attention to nature. Let the smallest things open up their secrets to you. Meditate. Feed the body and soul. You’ve lived a full life, becoming whole. Don’t miss a second to celebrate it.